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Author Topic: Flakes  (Read 107 times)

Truman

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Flakes
« on: April 07, 2018, 06:53:33 PM »
well. i've been CTing on issues like abandoment and anxious feelings towards women in general but I am still creating situations in which women accept to go on a date with me but flake at the last moment.

This stuff doesn't happen on a vacuum but it's iterable. It has been happening since 2 years ago.

I CTed maybe 30 hours in the last 3 weeks but my results still the same.

The results are the same. Women accept to go out and then don't feel motivated enough to show up that day. I don't know if it has to do with my vibe or what. But I am creating this kind of situations over and over and over again.


At the begining I thought this could happen to anyone but I see guys who don't have this problem and stuff happens easy to them.


I don't know what to CT to stop this to keep happening.

Monkey Mind

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Re: Flakes
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2018, 10:57:16 AM »
Try the get mad at it technique - where you get mad at the problem.
http://pstecforum.com/pf/social-anxiety/cure-for-agoraphobia-my-treatment-for-the-cause-of-agoraphobia-'get-mad-at-it'/

Keep working on your vibe. Detach from the outcome. Your not there to get something from them but to give a good time and to inspire.

Brian

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Re: Flakes
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2018, 11:16:18 AM »
When you get mad at it really go wild and as extreme as you can. Also be sure to get angry at yourself. When I say extreme you can even imagine being physically violent with the person. The more extreme the better.

You might also CT the feelings of not being wanted, important, blown off, stood up, ignored, made to wait.
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Paul

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Re: Flakes
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2018, 04:04:42 PM »
Hi Truman,

Thanks for posting.

As well as the suggestions already given, you may find it beneficial to consider what beliefs might be contributing to this pattern.

Eliminating the relevant beliefs is another pathway to change. There is always more than one and the various PSTEC tools can work harmoniously.

So, you have a fear of being abandoned and experience anxiety around women?  There is a part of your mind that knows the cause of these patterns, of course.

Have you ever been abandoned or felt that you were (Click Track that, if you were)?

What might be generating these emotional patterns is a series of beliefs (as well as the conditioned responses). Beliefs feed into emotions and emotions into beliefs, and going after either will impact the other.

You can keep going with the Click Tracks and neutralise the emotions but, as it seems unusally stubborn this time, it might be a smart play to "blast" the contributing beliefs.

I think we could find those beliefs if we spoke. However, in lieu of that, just ask yourself:

"What would I have to believe about women and myself to feel anxious in this situation?"

Might it be something like "Women can't be trusted", "I'm not worth loving", "Women don't like who I really am", "Nothing works out for me" and/or "I am going to end up alone"?

Try saying each of those out loud and check whether they resonate. If so, you almost certainly hold these beliefs.

Can you see how holding a belief like those cited (and you may NOT hold them, of course) would naturally generate all manner of thoughts and emotions?

These type of beliefs are worth eliminating, for sure, as you will feel a greater sense of peace and possibility.

If you have the Belief Blasters (http://bit.ly/beliefblasters), you can get this handled by going through each belief and eliminating it.

If you need any more assistance with this or anything else, please let us know.

All the best,

Paul  ;)
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