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Author Topic: Women, Rejection and Beauty  (Read 746 times)

Truman

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Women, Rejection and Beauty
« on: January 01, 2018, 02:41:16 AM »
I supposse this is a very common theme.

I am under the illussion that the more beautiful women are, the more probable is that they're not going to be interested in me.

Which becomes a self fulfilling belief

Also I get the sense that women choose men based on what is his possition in any given social hierarchy of dominance.

I feel like an outsider and I get continuous evidence that women seem to be interested in leaders of men in small groups or men that are admired in any given social group. Not in men outside social hierarchies (because this ideal of batman or clint eastwood seem to be a fantasy).

I don't think the last one is an illusion since we're social creatures and women still pick and select mates up and across dominance hierarchies.



Sometimes I hate women for that (because i've never been succesful in dominance hierarchies of men, that's why i became an outsider), which makes me resentful and betrayed and wanting to fuck women just to get a sense of revenge (for being rejected all these years by the women i like) this is very toxic and only attracts me towards narcissistic and manipulative women.

Betrayed because i lack hope that women have their own individuality and naturally they're going to follow what's in their best natural interests (the man nearest the top of the dominance hierarchy). Also I get continuous evidence for this shit.


How can I change my situation?
« Last Edit: January 01, 2018, 02:48:11 AM by Truman »

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2018, 12:48:43 PM »
Hi Truman - Something is going on with my ability to post long blocks of text on the forum. Here are some high-level thoughts where you can start. You might consider working with a PSTEC practitioner. http://pstecregister.com

I supposse this is a very common theme.

I am under the illussion that the more beautiful women are, the more probable is that they're not going to be interested in me.

Which becomes a self fulfilling belief

Imagine this in a worst case scenario with the most beautiful woman you can imagine rejecting you and then clicktrack until gone.

Another more powerful approach would be to imagine the above along with any times this has happened to you in the past as far back as you can remember while you run the 2015 wrapper track. So this way you have a nice history + worse case future event. Wrap it all up into one big bundle and clicktrack it until gone.


Also I get the sense that women choose men based on what is his possition in any given social hierarchy of dominance.


Clicktrack this feeling - again worse case scenario you can imagine as if the woman has actually done this to you.


I feel like an outsider and I get continuous evidence that women seem to be interested in leaders of men in small groups or men that are admired in any given social group. Not in men outside social hierarchies (because this ideal of batman or clint eastwood seem to be a fantasy).


Slow this all down and clicktrack each piece of it. Again using the worse case imagined scenario as if it's happened.



« Last Edit: January 02, 2018, 12:55:30 PM by Brian »
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Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2018, 12:52:22 PM »
I don't think the last one is an illusion since we're social creatures and women still pick and select mates up and across dominance hierarchies.

Sometimes I hate women for that (because i've never been succesful in dominance hierarchies of men, that's why i became an outsider), which makes me resentful and betrayed and wanting to fuck women just to get a sense of revenge (for being rejected all these years by the women i like) this is very toxic and only attracts me towards narcissistic and manipulative women.

You have many different feelings here and a lot going on here - I would start with anger and hatred towards woman. Also that you do not feel safe around women, that you can't trust them. Then resentful, betrayed, revenge, rejection.


Also consider this. You are subconsciously seeking narcissistic and manipulative women due to someone in your family (female) and/or the first one or two women you were in a relationship with having these types of behaviors. It's not that they are maniuplating you, they are just doing what is normal to them. They can't see any of this unconscious programming of theirs. Your programming however pulls you right into it and keeps you in pain. It is a secret addiction of which you are realizing more details as you progress with becoming more conscious and aware of what is going on inside of you. (Your thoughts, feelings, behaviors)





 
« Last Edit: January 02, 2018, 01:17:50 PM by Brian »
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Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2018, 12:53:26 PM »
It sounds like you have some deeper programming going on here. I would suggest you take some big steps back first and look at your mother/father and/or lack thereof. I'm taking a wild guess here (don't like to assume) but i suspect there are some things going on from your childhood at the core here. Were your parents divorced, what was the story with your mom/dad/stepmom/stepdad and/or lack of any parents etc. Did you have a controlling mother and a passive father (or absent father either emotionally or physically) Then you would want to look at your past relationships.

Betrayed because i lack hope that women have their own individuality and naturally they're going to follow what's in their best natural interests (the man nearest the top of the dominance hierarchy). Also I get continuous evidence for this shit.

Again slow this all down and CT each piece.

How can I change my situation?

I also get the feeling you could have some extensive "codependent" (thoughts, feelings, behaviours) programming including passivity, avoiding, rejection, abandonment etc. Look there as well.

Clearing any feelings of anger, rage, hatred, resentment, betrayal, frustration and impatience - especially towards women - can give you some tremendous relief. I would again suggest looking back as far as you can remember here, starting with your parent(s).


« Last Edit: January 02, 2018, 01:19:05 PM by Brian »
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Truman

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2018, 12:52:04 AM »
It sounds like you have some deeper programming going on here. I would suggest you take some big steps back first and look at your mother/father and/or lack thereof. I'm taking a wild guess here (don't like to assume) but i suspect there are some things going on from your childhood at the core here. Were your parents divorced, what was the story with your mom/dad/stepmom/stepdad and/or lack of any parents etc. Did you have a controlling mother and a passive father (or absent father either emotionally or physically) Then you would want to look at your past relationships.

Betrayed because i lack hope that women have their own individuality and naturally they're going to follow what's in their best natural interests (the man nearest the top of the dominance hierarchy). Also I get continuous evidence for this shit.

Again slow this all down and CT each piece.

How can I change my situation?

I also get the feeling you could have some extensive "codependent" (thoughts, feelings, behaviours) programming including passivity, avoiding, rejection, abandonment etc. Look there as well.

Clearing any feelings of anger, rage, hatred, resentment, betrayal, frustration and impatience - especially towards women - can give you some tremendous relief. I would again suggest looking back as far as you can remember here, starting with your parent(s).

Yes.

Most of what you mentioned is true.

Over bearing codependent mother that made me extremely dependent on people.

Abscent, passive and avoiding father that was totally disconnected from his feelings.

I can't help to be both ways, my inner emotional guidance only knows both paths.

I don't know what healthy is on an experiential level.

This made me an outsider and rejected a lot by people, a loser.

And trying to be any other way just feels fake. Not being codependent on people feels like an act and people pickup on that. Like if I don't be codependent or avoidant I am overcompensating. It's a lose lose situation and a living nightmare.

I try to tap on these things but my capacity to generate emotions thru visualization is 3/10 compared to real life experiences.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2018, 01:42:04 AM by Truman »

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2018, 04:40:42 AM »
Hi Truman/guy's I've been experimenting with the havening technique recently alongside pstec, perhaps you could try this to see if it works any better for you. Usually I do both back to back Google or YouTube havening technique watch example videos then try it for yourself. Brian I'd be interested in your thoughts on this but I'm currently doing this technique while planting new positive beliefs and playing pstec positive in the background I could be either nuts 😄 or really onto something I'm finding it very good so far. ✌️

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2018, 04:56:51 AM »
Yes.

Most of what you mentioned is true.

Over bearing codependent mother that made me extremely dependent on people.

Abscent, passive and avoiding father that was totally disconnected from his feelings.

I can't help to be both ways, my inner emotional guidance only knows both paths.

I don't know what healthy is on an experiential level.

This made me an outsider and rejected a lot by people, a loser.

And trying to be any other way just feels fake. Not being codependent on people feels like an act and people pickup on that. Like if I don't be codependent or avoidant I am overcompensating. It's a lose lose situation and a living nightmare.

I try to tap on these things but my capacity to generate emotions thru visualization is 3/10 compared to real life experiences.

Ok Truman - this is great, what clicktracks do you have besides the free basic tracks?

Let us know so I might suggest some ways for you to get focused.

"I don't know what healthy is on an experiential level."
This is the beauty of PSTEC. You don't have to know anything IMO. It's all about what you feel and what you want. If you don't like what is in your present model of reality and/or it does not feel JEEP to you then it is fair game to clear it out. I can assure you that your model of reality will change to match it once it's gone within you.

Over bearing codependent mother that made me extremely dependent on people. Abscent, passive and avoiding father that was totally disconnected from his feelings.

I had the same. I would say my stepmother was narcissistic, high control with OCD and my father was dependent with narcissistic programming in there. Completely emotionally unaware, invalidated etc. and as a kid how could I know any of this? I wasn't aware of this sort of stuff. This was just how it was growing up. There wasn't anything different. It just was.

This is normal in society though the undesired model of reality and behaviors you developed as a result are playing more extensively in your present reality than you are conscionsly aware of. And that's ok. What matters is that you are aware you want change within and have the desire and drive to do so. You are doing it.

As far as codependent/narcissitic, borderline, avoidant, OCD etc. I tend not to give much attention to these lables. Why? I find people can be a hybrid of these various "personality disorders" and so I do not look at them as any types of labeled disorder. That's how the medical world looks at it and tries to explain it.

It's all a big ball of programming wired in us to protect us and/or recreate our past to keep us safe.

From my alternative viewpoint, they are normal to the person who has them, they have lived this way all their life as a subconscions means to protect themselves. They don't see these things as good or bad because they really can't see them at all. To them they are normal. To an outsider who doesn't have them they seem abnormal. The same goes for everyone. We all have various aspects of these "disorders" running in us to protect us form the past. Repressed anger, unresolved emotional trauma, passivity, fears of of criticism, rejection, abandonment etc. and all sorts of various ego needs are completely normal for everyone.








« Last Edit: January 04, 2018, 09:38:52 AM by Brian »
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davidh

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2018, 06:36:27 AM »
Awesome advice and coaching here Brian!

Truman I Highly recommend you invest a bit in any tools you can too that Brian recommends Truman. Pstec is a godsend when you dial it in. It's a more complex system than most, because it has to be to deal with more complex issues as well.

I consider it a nuclear system for clearing past issues and reprogramming compared to other self-releasing and subconscious reprogramming systems out there. It does take work but what doesn't? The bang for your buck, especially in terms of time and effort for the results it produces is incredible!

Its the best out there I've seen, period. Tim is a freaking genius.

Stick with it man you can do this.

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2018, 09:39:52 AM »

Its the best out there I've seen, period. Tim is a freaking genius.


Understatement of 2018 :)

If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
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Truman

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2018, 09:41:50 AM »
Yes.

Most of what you mentioned is true.

Over bearing codependent mother that made me extremely dependent on people.

Abscent, passive and avoiding father that was totally disconnected from his feelings.

I can't help to be both ways, my inner emotional guidance only knows both paths.

I don't know what healthy is on an experiential level.

This made me an outsider and rejected a lot by people, a loser.

And trying to be any other way just feels fake. Not being codependent on people feels like an act and people pickup on that. Like if I don't be codependent or avoidant I am overcompensating. It's a lose lose situation and a living nightmare.

I try to tap on these things but my capacity to generate emotions thru visualization is 3/10 compared to real life experiences.

Ok Truman - this is great, what clicktracks do you have besides the free basic tracks?

Let us know so I might suggest some ways for you to get focused.

"I don't know what healthy is on an experiential level."
This is the beauty of PSTEC. You don't have to know anything IMO. It's all about what you feel and what you want. If you don't like what is in your present model of reality and/or it does not feel JEEP to you then it is fair game to clear it out. I can assure you that your model of reality will change to match it once it's gone within you.

Over bearing codependent mother that made me extremely dependent on people. Abscent, passive and avoiding father that was totally disconnected from his feelings.

I had the same. I would say my stepmother was narcissistic, high control with OCD and my father was dependent with narcissistic programming in there. Completely emotionally unaware, invalidated etc. and as a kid how could I know any of this? I wasn't aware of this sort of stuff. This is normal in society though the undesired model of reality and behaviors you have developed as a result are playing more extensively in your present reality than you are conscionsly aware of. And that's ok. What matters is that you are aware you want change within and have the desire and drive to do so. You are doing it.

As far as codependent/narcissitic, borderline, avoidant, OCD etc. I tend not to give much attention to these lables. Why? I find people can be a hybrid of these various "personality disorders" and so I do not look at them as any types of labeled disorder. It's all a big ball of programming wired in us to protect us and/or recreate our past to keep us safe. From my alternative viewpoint, they are normal to the person who has them, they have lived this way all their life as a subconscions means to protect themselves. They don't see these things as good or bad because they really can't see them at all. To them they are normal. To an outsider who doesn't have them they seem abnormal. The same goes for everyone. We all have various aspects of these "disorders" running in us to protect us form the past. Repressed anger, unresolved emotional trauma, passivity, fears of of criticism, rejection, abandonment etc. and all sorts of various ego needs are completely normal for everyone.

I do have Clicktracks2015, Belief blasters and Positive PSTec,

I've been dealing with this issue since 4 years ago, first learning pickup and social skills and then self help and spirituality, but nothing except PSTec seemed to do the work. Meanwhile I see guys who did absolutely no work on self discovery and self awareness that I did over these years getting more social success with men and women than I could dream of.

Well, I suposse that's the arbitrary nature of being raised on different kind of families.

Do i have to clean the entire emotion until it stops coming back or it will regenerate if I don't clean it completely?

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2018, 11:39:13 AM »
Truman - I would suggest picking up the accelerator package. This will help you tremendously with recall and ease/speed of clearing.

I would then suggest you listen to the relaxing accelerator at bedtime every night for a week.

Subsequently, I would suggest you take a big step back to your parents and begin resolving all of your past with them. Then move through your past relationships. When you address all of this you are are going to see a tremendous change in your present. Along the way, you will also recall other people, places and things as you go through that process that have slowly added up over the years to create your present situation. When you resolve these you will see even more change in your present situation.




« Last Edit: January 04, 2018, 11:42:21 AM by Brian »
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Paul

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2018, 03:12:42 PM »
Hi Truman,

Thanks for your posts. Also thanks to Brian, David and Ed for your advice, feedback and contributions. I hope other people feel empowered to share their perspectives.

One thing I would add is that when you truly feel "enough", Truman, you won't NEED any external validations. You will see these things (money, dates, acclaim etc.) as bonuses, if anything.

Complete this sentence "What makes me good enough is..."

Fill in everything that comes to mind. Each of these will be a survival strategy belief - something you believe has to happen to "make" you good enough.

It seems to me that you may have a few of these beliefs. Things like "What makes me good enough is having girls be attracted to me" or "...being popular." You may discover others.

If survival strategies worked as effectively as we believe, the conditions would surely only need to be met once.  For example, you would find out you were attractive and feel good enough forever. However, in truth, they are just a mask for the core belief of "I'm not good enough."

A common source of that belief tends to be early interactions with your parents - what you mentioned earlier makes sense.

Now, obviously your parents did as well as they could within their "life context", and they are the reason you are here. That considered, they perhaps acted in ways that led you to believe that you could never measure up, or that you were not inherently good enough.

Think back:

Whenever you didn't do, say or act as your parents wanted, were you criticised, ignored or punished? When you did something they did like (e.g. perhaps getting good school reports or achieving some goals), did they respond differently?

Do you or did you ever feel you have to "be someone" for your parents?

Do you have any resentment about how you feel you have to be?

Start here. Who do you think you have to be for Mum, Dad and around women?

Some of the presuppositions with pickup, social dynamics and the like can, in my opinion, be very tribal, aggressive and hostile towards women - not always, but it is there in certain quarters. If you have beliefs that result in prejudices against a group of people, especially those you wish to attract, I would suggest that this is not the best approach in the long-term. If, for example, you desired food...but thought that food was fundamentally bad for you...it might not be the best experience.

You are right. Your belief is a self-evident truth. You will be able to find countless examples of women interested in leaders, the wealthy or "high status" individuals. You could see this with some men too. You could also find countless examples of women being attracted to men who don't conform to these descriptions.

It is a fact that not ALL people have the same drives, desires and attractions. If everything was "one size fits all", this forum would not exist and everyone would roam the Earth eating the same food, saying the same lines and thinking the same thoughts. To limit yourself by believing that all women only want certain traits is doing them, men and yourself a disservice. It limits your experience.

CT all fear, resentment, anger and jealousy - even if it does not seem to be related to this pattern. It will "chip away the block." This will help you more than you can possibly imagine.

Also look at the sort of beliefs that may have been "born" along the way. Read back what you wrote. Do any of these beliefs resonate (say them out loud)?:

"I'm a loser."

"I don't measure up"

"Women aren't interested in guys like me."

"I'm not attractive."

"I am hopeless."

"I'm inferior."

"Women can't be trusted."

If you have any beliefs like these, feel free to BLAST them away.

Please keep us updated.

Paul  :)


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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2018, 04:28:59 PM »
Thank you guys I just purchased Accelerators.

I'll work on these positive affirmations Paul and I'll update the next week.

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2018, 02:08:33 PM »
after working on this issue for several weeks i feel more at ease with it.

yesterday i want on a date with a very gorgeous women (someone who in the past i would had thought she was totally out of my league) and we had a great time together. at the end she wanted to repeat it some other day.

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2018, 02:59:47 PM »
AWESOME!!!
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
Book a session: https://goo.gl/2VxCUa
Tools I use: Clicktracks (Basic, EEF, 2015) Accelerators, Positive, Positive Extra, Negative, Belief Blasters, Cascade Release, No More Anxiety, No More Anger, Anger Loop, PTSD Loop, Stop Smoking, Think & Grow Rich


 



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