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Author Topic: Women, Rejection and Beauty  (Read 2004 times)

bjdutch

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #15 on: November 15, 2018, 02:55:20 PM »
Hi there, I’d like to touch on what has been discussed in this topic.

I have a similar issue, where the prettier the girl is, the more I don’t think they’d like me, and it has been my experience recently.

In my mind, I don’t feel good enough (attractive enough mostly) to be with the girls I want to be with. I then get critical of myself physically, by looking into the mirror and noticing what I don’t like about myself and what I see. I also keep thinking if I was more attractive/handsome...I wouldn’t be having this problem.

What should I do? Is it possible to see myself as attractive? In my opinion, if I don’t like what I see physically or appreciate who I am...how is anyone else supposed to? I guess installing a beliefs like I am attractive/I am good enough for attractive partners would help.

Can I focus on what I see in the mirror and clear the negative emotions until I feel attractive?

Thanks for any input!

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #16 on: November 16, 2018, 04:58:19 AM »
Hi there, I’d like to touch on what has been discussed in this topic.

I have a similar issue, where the prettier the girl is, the more I don’t think they’d like me, and it has been my experience recently.

In my mind, I don’t feel good enough (attractive enough mostly) to be with the girls I want to be with. I then get critical of myself physically, by looking into the mirror and noticing what I don’t like about myself and what I see. I also keep thinking if I was more attractive/handsome...I wouldn’t be having this problem.

What should I do? Is it possible to see myself as attractive? In my opinion, if I don’t like what I see physically or appreciate who I am...how is anyone else supposed to? I guess installing a beliefs like I am attractive/I am good enough for attractive partners would help.

Can I focus on what I see in the mirror and clear the negative emotions until I feel attractive?

Thanks for any input!

Which PSTEC tools do you have?

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bjdutch

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #17 on: November 16, 2018, 11:00:47 AM »
I recently purchased PQT, the belief blasters and CT 2015.

Paul

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #18 on: November 19, 2018, 05:06:32 PM »
Hi bjdutch,

Thanks for posting and for confirming the products you own.

The first thing I would recommend is to check whether the beliefs I suggested earlier in the thread resonate with you.

If they do, please put them into the past tense and run a Belief Blaster track on each of them while trying hard to believe the belief statement.

For each belief you blast, layer in a positive suggestion with PQT. So, blast a belief and then follow up with a PQT.

A suggestion like "I am absolutely attractive enough as I am now" will be very effective for most people, but play about with suggestions that really fire you up. This is your playground really.

How do you want to feel and behave when you see pretty girls?

Ease? Certainty? Worthiness?

What about when you look in the mirror?

"When I see myself now, I see that I am absolutely worthy"

This is your chance to layer in the suggestions that serve you. There is no universal truth here. If it feels like you are kidding yourself, ask what it is you don't like about your looks and BB that.

If there is any historical bullying, name-calling or teasing (particularly about your appearance), I recommend running a long CT2015 on these instances. CT down to 0.

Use all the PSTEC tools you have and create what you really want.

When you believe what you really want to believe at a core level, there is a subcommunication going on. People generally pick up on it.

The more you do this, the more the results and everyday miracles stack up.

I hope that helps.

Please keep us updated.

All the best,

Paul  :)

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Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

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bjdutch

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #19 on: November 20, 2018, 03:26:58 PM »
Thanks so much for the helpful reply.

The lowdown on me is I was talking to this girl (and I was hoping things were going good) but just recently she stopped talking to me and it really got me down.

I tried to imagine the sadness/fear/resentment/paranoia/jealousy of the situation. Her not talking to me, me never being with her, her finding someone better etc. I must’ve done the 30 min long click tracks at least 8 times with little relief.

I then turned to the belief blasters and tried to run certain beliefs about the situation...which really was about me and my insecurities about being with her: I’m not good enough, not handsome enough etc. I’ve felt a little relief after running those but those but they still seem true. Do I just keep running the beliefs blasters until I feel a shift?

This whole situation has got me feeling crazy. All my worries/doubts/fears about myself and my capabilities all came exploding to the surface this last week or so. Been clicking for hours and hours with some relief. I don’t know if I’m doing anything wrong but I get discouraged when I’m tapping/or running BB and still feel bad even after hours of doing so.

Sorry for the long post...but thanks again for the help!

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2018, 05:23:45 PM »
Try blasting these beliefs already in past tense

I was ugly
I wasn't attractive
Women didn't find me attractive
Pretty girls wouldn't have liked me
Pretty girls wouldn't have talked to me
I didn't like who I was
I didn't appreciate myself
I didn't love myself
I didn't accept myself
I was always alone in the end
Rejection had something to do with me
I would have rather been alone than rejected
I would have rather been alone than abandoned
Love was too painful
I couldn't have accepted love
Women hated me
People could tell what I was thinking


« Last Edit: November 20, 2018, 05:36:14 PM by Brian »
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bjdutch

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #21 on: November 24, 2018, 11:50:04 PM »
A little update...I’ve been running BB tracks like crazy. I feel some relief for awhile then feel bad again.

I just can’t shake the belief that I’m ugly/not attractive enough...mainly because of my skin (acne scars from when I was younger)

I’ve ran “I was ugly.” “I hated my face.” “I couldn’t love my skin.” “I wasn’t handsome enough.” But these things still feel true to me. Is it like the click tracks where I just keep repeating a BB track until it doesn’t feel true anymore?

Also, any advice on Belief statements on a specific person? If that can be applied. I’m so caught up on this girl whom I was talking to and that has come to a hault and it’s been really hard to cope. I felt like not being good enough/handsome enough for her, she’ll never want me...consumed my mind when we were talking and it became a self-fulfilling procephy as she stoppped talking to me and trying to hang out.

I’m so discouraged after running a bunch of these beliefs and still feeling the same when I look in the mirror. If I can’t love myself, I can’t expect her to...(which is where I want to be at the end of this)

Again changing my perception about my attractiveness seems impossible. For years I’ve always wished i looked differently...I just count never accept what I see in the mirror. I just can’t accept I could be handsome with my facial flaws.

EDIT: I saw on Brian’s post on the list of Belief statements to blast “pretty girls didn’t like me. And “women wouldn’t have found me attractive.” Could these beliefs contribute to not liking my physical appearance? If I believed the girl I want to be with would find me attractive/want me as I am now...would I still be critical of myself? Or the right approach is getting to the point of loving what I see in the mirror/feeling handome enough first and then I’d approach the situation more confidently, believing she’d want me?

I was hoping it would’ve been as simple for me as removing “I was ugly.” And installing “I am handsome enough exactly as I am now.” And then i could go out an get my girl lol.

Any input would be greatly appreciated...
« Last Edit: November 25, 2018, 12:40:16 AM by bjdutch »

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #22 on: November 25, 2018, 09:42:01 AM »
A little update...I’ve been running BB tracks like crazy. I feel some relief for awhile then feel bad again.

I just can’t shake the belief that I’m ugly/not attractive enough...mainly because of my skin (acne scars from when I was younger)

Try blasting "there was something about me that wasn't attractive" Full credit to Paul McCabe for this type of phrase.

Also CT any feelings of shame, embarrassment, humiliation on the looks from the past.

I’ve ran “I was ugly.” “I hated my face.” “I couldn’t love my skin.” “I wasn’t handsome enough.” But these things still feel true to me. Is it like the click tracks where I just keep repeating a BB track until it doesn’t feel true anymore?

Also, any advice on Belief statements on a specific person? If that can be applied. I’m so caught up on this girl whom I was talking to and that has come to a hault and it’s been really hard to cope.

I felt like not being good enough/handsome enough for her, she’ll never want me...consumed my mind when we were talking and it became a self-fulfilling procephy as she stopped talking to me and trying to hang out.

Blast the belief "there was something about me that wasn't good enough"

Clicktrack any feelings of expectation you have around her to a 1 or 0.


I’m so discouraged after running a bunch of these beliefs and still feeling the same when I look in the mirror.

Clicktrack feelings of discouragement around the issue and the feelings of "still feeling the same when I look in the mirror"

Blast the beliefs "I couldn't change""there was something about me I couldn't change" "nothing ever works out for me"  "nothing ever works for me" "things never get any better"

If I can’t love myself, I can’t expect her to...(which is where I want to be at the end of this)

Belief blast "I didn't deserve to be loved" "I wasn't worthy of love" "I couldn't love myself"

Again changing my perception about my attractiveness seems impossible.

Belief blast "change was impossible" or "it was impossible for me to change"

For years I’ve always wished i looked differently...I just count never accept what I see in the mirror. I just can’t accept I could be handsome with my facial flaws.

Belief blast "I couldn't accept myself" "there was something about me people couldn't accept" "I looked awful in the mirror" "I couldn't accept my flaws" "I was flawed" "I had to be perfect to be loved"

EDIT: I saw on Brian’s post on the list of Belief statements to blast “pretty girls didn’t like me. And “women wouldn’t have found me attractive.” Could these beliefs contribute to not liking my physical appearance? If I believed the girl I want to be with would find me attractive/want me as I am now...would I still be critical of myself?

Belief blast: "I had to be perfect to be loved" "I had to be perfect to be wanted"

 Or the right approach is getting to the point of loving what I see in the mirror/feeling handome enough first and then I’d approach the situation more confidently, believing she’d want me?

I was hoping it would’ve been as simple for me as removing “I was ugly.” And installing “I am handsome enough exactly as I am now.” And then i could go out an get my girl lol.

Any input would be greatly appreciated...


Try these positive suggestions:

Thinking I looked bad was absolutely false now I'm attractive
I really do look extremely handsome now it's absolutely true
My looks really are completely safe now it's absolutely true
I really do feel extremely great about my looks now it's absolutely true
Women really do want me safely now it's absolutely true
I really am extremely desirable now it's absolutely true
I really am extremely attractive now it's absolutely true
Women really go crazy about the way I look now it's absolutely true
Women really do love the way I look now it's absolutely true
Women really do safely love me now it's absolutely true
Women really do safely want me now it's absolutely true
I really did completely overcome the way I looked safely now it's absolutely true
I really did totally conquer how I looked safely now it's absolutely true
I really am totally beyond the way I looked now it's absolutely true



« Last Edit: November 25, 2018, 09:43:54 AM by Brian »
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
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Paul

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #23 on: November 26, 2018, 12:32:58 PM »
Hi bjdutch,

Thank you for the update.

In addition to what Brian has suggested, when you are running the BBs, really try to FEEL "I am ugly"

Beliefs always go beyond mere words and are abstractions we make about ourselves, the world and other people. They will be linked to certain behaviours and emotions. Use all of it when trying hard to believe the belief.

If it is easier for you to process, CT while you look at yourself in a mirror and try hard to "feel ugly" and disgust while CTing. Imagine how you would feel if everyone thought this about you and CT those feelings. When you get to a 0 or 1, you will feel free.

There is a different goal for everyone, but a sense of well-being ALWAYS comes from within. When you FEEL good enough and acceptable at a core level, it will emanate from you and people will pick up on it.

You don't have to be flexing in the mirror or be consumed with self-love (unless you want to!), but being cool with yourself will be a game-changer for you.

Additional beliefs you may wish to blast might include:

"It was impossible to be attracted to someone like me"
"I was not wanted"
"I was not desirable"
"I was unacceptable"
"I was inferior"
"I looked horrible"
"I was not worthy"
"I was worthless"
"I wasn't what women wanted"
"I didn't look good enough as I was"
"I was flawed"

Then chunk down on the features you don't like and blast beliefs related to those. Hint: anything negative you perceive in your or anyone else's physical appearance is not a universal truth. It is just a preference and those are usually built on a foundation of beliefs and emotions.

For every belief you blast, layer a positive suggestion.

Best Regards,

Paul  :)
Paul McCabe - PSTEC Advanced Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

Skype, in-person & phone sessions available.

bjdutch

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #24 on: November 28, 2018, 01:37:52 AM »
So another update...

Been doing a lot of belief blasters, i feel better about things and myself. Not really confident in my looks/abilities yet but in a much better place now than i was 2 weeks ago.

I actually managed to take the girl (who i was feeling dread over) for a walk last night. Not sure if she likes me...but I’m going to keep running the belief blasters and quantum turbo and hopefully I can create the outcome I want.

Thanks Paul and Brain for your help!!!

If anything else comes up I’ll post again

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #25 on: November 28, 2018, 11:52:12 AM »
It's nice you are getting results! To expand on Paul's post:

I have a lot of people ask me if they are doing Belief Blaster “right”

As a general rule, this is how I use BB and get MAXIMUM effectiveness:

1.)   Think about the belief you are saying in past tense e.g. “I was/had been worthless” and repeat it over and over

2.)   Think about all of the worst experiences in your life that this has occurred (or will occur) and really feel the worst/most extreme possible thoughts and feelings you can about that belief as you think about all of those experiences. Try as hard as you can to believe what you are saying is true about those experiences and the feelings as you think about all of those memories.

Example: Life was/had been unfair: Think about all of the things in your life that have been unfair, really feel those feelings of unfairness as far back and as bad as you can remember the entire time as you really try hard to feel them and believe what you are saying is true.

You can even throw in worst care extreme imagined future events.

You will see profound results using BB this way! It really is easy!

« Last Edit: November 28, 2018, 11:57:43 AM by Brian »
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
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Tools I use: Clicktracks (Basic, EEF, 2015) Accelerators, Positive, Positive Extra, Negative, Belief Blasters, Cascade Release, No More Anxiety, No More Anger, Anger Loop, PTSD Loop, Stop Smoking, Think & Grow Rich

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #26 on: November 29, 2018, 06:50:46 AM »
BJDutch -

Sometimes it helps to go deeper than what is going on with the problem.

Try this little experiment...

Think about everything around this situation, the most extreme worst care thoughts you can while blasting the belief "I couldn't handle it" Really feel those extreme feelings while you try as hard as you can to believe what you are saying about all of this is true. Rejection, abandonment, embarrassment, shame not feeling good enough, being ugly/unattractive etc.

You can even branch out into anything else you can think of that you believe you can't handle. Really feel those feelings you can't handle it.

Let us know.


If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
Book a session: https://goo.gl/2VxCUa
Tools I use: Clicktracks (Basic, EEF, 2015) Accelerators, Positive, Positive Extra, Negative, Belief Blasters, Cascade Release, No More Anxiety, No More Anger, Anger Loop, PTSD Loop, Stop Smoking, Think & Grow Rich

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #27 on: December 09, 2018, 12:24:37 PM »
Bjdutch try blasting these beliefs too

I must have had the approval of others
I must have had approval or they would have abandoned me
They would have rejected me
Rejection was bad
They would have abandoned me
I must not have been flawed or they wouldn't have loved me
I wouldn't have been loved because I was shameful
There was something to be ashamed of
I must have looked good
I must have been worthy of love and had kept them there
I must have been attractive so they would have loved me and stayed
I must have been pleasing so they would have loved me and stayed

Be sure to feel the feelings really hard as you think about everything you possibly can come up with around these phrases with the most extreme emotions you can come up with.
« Last Edit: December 09, 2018, 12:50:23 PM by Brian »
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
Book a session: https://goo.gl/2VxCUa
Tools I use: Clicktracks (Basic, EEF, 2015) Accelerators, Positive, Positive Extra, Negative, Belief Blasters, Cascade Release, No More Anxiety, No More Anger, Anger Loop, PTSD Loop, Stop Smoking, Think & Grow Rich

bjdutch

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #28 on: December 09, 2018, 03:33:17 PM »
Thanks Brian I’ll give these a shot...

A little update too...so I’ve been able to let go lots of bad feelings/perceptions about my physical appearance which is good.

But with the girl I’m talking to, sometimes it seems like she’s interested and other times it feels like I’m just a friend to her. I’ve been getting frustrated with thoughts why isn’t this going the way I want? And will she ever warm up to the idea of being with me?

Oh man love is a battlefield haha

Thanks again for the helpful ideas!!!

Brian

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Re: Women, Rejection and Beauty
« Reply #29 on: December 09, 2018, 04:21:46 PM »
Thanks Brian I’ll give these a shot...

A little update too...so I’ve been able to let go lots of bad feelings/perceptions about my physical appearance which is good.

But with the girl I’m talking to, sometimes it seems like she’s interested and other times it feels like I’m just a friend to her. I’ve been getting frustrated with thoughts why isn’t this going the way I want? And will she ever warm up to the idea of being with me?

Oh man love is a battlefield haha

Thanks again for the helpful ideas!!!

Things must have always went perfectly
Things should never have gone wrong
I couldn't have handled uncertain outcomes
I couldn't have handled bad outcomes
Things should have gone the way I wanted them to
Women didn't want to be with me
Others weren't interested in me
I wasn't interesting
I had nothing to offer

If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
Book a session: https://goo.gl/2VxCUa
Tools I use: Clicktracks (Basic, EEF, 2015) Accelerators, Positive, Positive Extra, Negative, Belief Blasters, Cascade Release, No More Anxiety, No More Anger, Anger Loop, PTSD Loop, Stop Smoking, Think & Grow Rich


 



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