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Author Topic: My mother is narcissist  (Read 450 times)

SilentBob

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My mother is narcissist
« on: April 18, 2019, 06:29:20 PM »
Last summer I found out, my mother is covert narcissist. That means she don't have empathy and she is using different kind of tactics to manipulate with me:
gaslighting, guilt tripping, triangulation, projection, double bind... Also, blackmailing, intimidation, lying and all other kinds of ugly things just to manipulate with me and to control my life. My perception of reality was so much distorted, it's unbelievable.

After I found out this, I was reading a lot and watched Youtube videos about her narcissistic personality disorder and it opened my eyes. It was very painful true but true that changed me a lot.

Why I am writing this? I registered on this forum many years ago. Nothing helped me to overcome my problems. My mother was abusing me psychologically and emotionally, all my life. Most of her tactics I even never recognized before. Now I can see and understand what she was doing to me.

And now I can recognize also if someone else try to do the same. Because, at least 1 percent of population are narcissists which can make serious psychological damage to the people around, if they are living with them, for longer time. They can be very dangerous, psychologically. I noticed at least 2 more narcissists in my life, recently. One tried to do gaslighting on me, second guilt tripping. But without success.

I think this is serious problem for many people, and for some here also, so everyone should educate them self about narcissists. I hope this was helpful.

Now I am visiting psychologist which have knowledge about narcissists. Not many have, unfortunately. If I'll need some help with PSTEC tracks, I'll come later here. I don't know what to ask, for now. :)

Sorry for my English.

Paul

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Re: My mother is narcissist
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2019, 06:51:56 AM »
Hi SilentBob,

Thanks for your post. Your English is spot on.

What you learned there was very valuable, as emotional manipulation can be truly devastating - especially as it was prolonged in your particular case.

I am glad your psychologist has knowledge of this issue, as narcissistic behaviour will impact a lot of people. It is good that you now know none of that was your fault.

PSTEC is an amazing suite of tools, and many people have made huge changes without seeing a therapist or practitioner. However, if any issues do seem sticky or too intense, that would usually be a great time to reach out - either here or by working with a practitioner. An outside perspective can help speed progress dramatically.

We are here, if you need us.

All the best,

Paul  :)
Paul McCabe - PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

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SilentBob

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Re: My mother is narcissist
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2019, 01:40:24 AM »
Hi Paul,
I have some questions.

Because a lot of mother's guilt tripping in past, I have lot of painful memories with shame. It's happening like this: memory show up in my mind related with something what's happening right now and it's painful. Also, I noticed, after her's guilt tripping, I feel exhausted and without energy to do chores and activities.

How to deal with it?

Brian

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Re: My mother is narcissist
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2019, 11:49:43 AM »
Oh man, I know those feelings all too well.

You can start by belief blasting some of these... "everything is my fault" and "it was all my fault" "I was a problem" "I should be ashamed of myself" "I should be guilty for what I did" I am a guilty person" "I am to blame for everything" "I am always the one to blame" "I am bad" "I am a bad person" "I am shameful" "I am a shame"

make sure you feel those feelings you just described along with the guilt and shame while you blast the belief. Really try hard to feel the feelings. Get angry at your mother and yourself too at times to release the anger with it.

You might have to do these each a few times. I did. I would get through them all over a few days time. Then go back and check to see if I still had them. If I did I would hit them again until they did not exist anymore.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2019, 12:10:25 PM by Brian »
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
Book a session: https://goo.gl/2VxCUa
Tools I use: Clicktracks (Basic, EEF, 2015) Accelerators, Positive, Positive Extra, Negative, Belief Blasters, Cascade Release, No More Anxiety, No More Anger, Anger Loop, PTSD Loop, Stop Smoking, Think & Grow Rich

SilentBob

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Re: My mother is narcissist
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2019, 10:37:42 AM »
So, I started once with PSTEC Negative, than I bought belief blasters and worked on "everything was my fault" and "I was always the one to blame". Repeated on that sentences, maybe 10 times... I felt anger an CT that. But, look like my guilt is very strong belief. Now I can see that. Amazing how strong is!

Brian

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Re: My mother is narcissist
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2019, 09:29:51 AM »
make sure when you run BB you really try as hard as you possibly can feel those feelings of the belief as you repeat it in the past tense.
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
Book a session: https://goo.gl/2VxCUa
Tools I use: Clicktracks (Basic, EEF, 2015) Accelerators, Positive, Positive Extra, Negative, Belief Blasters, Cascade Release, No More Anxiety, No More Anger, Anger Loop, PTSD Loop, Stop Smoking, Think & Grow Rich

SilentBob

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Re: My mother is narcissist
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2019, 01:34:15 AM »
So, I finished with BB on sentence "everything is my fault". Wow! I am so full of energy for few days. Great experience! :) But, now I feel I have some more of guilt. I'll continue with BB.

Brian

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Re: My mother is narcissist
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2019, 12:22:28 PM »
In addition to what I had already posted. Blast these in past tense:

I am guilty
I have done something wrong
I am wrong
I am to blame
I am bad
I am a bad person

Use long 18 min BB and REALLY feel the feelings with each one while you think of all the possible memories, past, present and future. You may need to run one more than once if these are really strong beliefs.
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
Book a session: https://goo.gl/2VxCUa
Tools I use: Clicktracks (Basic, EEF, 2015) Accelerators, Positive, Positive Extra, Negative, Belief Blasters, Cascade Release, No More Anxiety, No More Anger, Anger Loop, PTSD Loop, Stop Smoking, Think & Grow Rich


 



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