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Author Topic: We Live In the Light of Reflected Action - Freedom from Being Stuck in Life  (Read 973 times)

Brian

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Tim has mentioned this quote in his tutorials:

“We live in the light of reflected action. The things that happened to us in the past are still happening to us every day.” ~ Dave Elman

PSTEC has proven to me time and time again how this is the indisputable absolute truth.

My purpose of creating this thread is to share a few examples and for others to also share their examples as a testament to the limitless power and freedom of PSTEC.

Example #1:

I was completely stuck in my career, always getting the same types of experiences over and over and over again... but why?

To summarize:

Hired as an independent consultant
Never fit in/good enough to be hired as an employee
Leadership role
Never directly reporting to anyone, more of an advisor/mentor to executives
Small employee teams working under me with no direct authority over them
Employees were mid to low performers but we always made it work and won
I carried the weight of the team
Zero resources to work with
Had to come into the environment and figure it all out from scratch
Responsible for changing, building and execution of everything
High-visible work, in big companies always excelled as a team and as an individual
Always finished the work with a breeze nothing gets in my way
Other low-performers on the team would get recognition, I would get none
When I get to the end of the project people want to hire me but never do to some odd issue OR they keep me a long time as an independent
After I leave, management would change and things would just be forgotten
Long pauses in-between contracts, hard time finding the next one etc.

I decided one day it was time to clicktrack this experience and free myself from it.

It's not a coincidence that every last feeling went back to the following story.

In high school I played multiple sports (baseball, basketball, track) I was not good at baseball and basketball. Had coaches that would use shame and humiliation as a motivator. We all know how that goes. In track I had a coach that for the first three years of of school would walk me down to the record board EVERY day and show me a record set in 1958 in the mile run 4:30. He told me every day I would break that. I did not believe him for many reasons. This coach was smart cookie. He was able to build relationships with the biggest schools around and get us into their huge meets which we had no business being in. At the end of my Junior (3rd) year I finished the season at 4:40. I had a realization that It's possible I might be able to get that record the next year. My coach announced he would not return the following year. This was heartbreaking for both of us, he wanted to take me all the way. Despite this, I worked all year round to train for the following track season. I went to a very small school. 100 students total. Not only would I not have a coach but we did not have a track. We would run around the block in front of the school for practice.

Fast forward one year later. 12 guys on my team. One of my teammates has a brother who can certify to be the "coach" and drive the bus. I took responsibility to create the workouts for the team, Led them in every practice, trained them. They were all low to mid-performers but not afraid to work hard. We won a lot. I was able to carry the weight of the team and qualify a relay race and also myself in the mile for the state track meet. I went undefeated the entire year. Never had an athlete in our school been to state. I ran at state and placed 4th. Broke the record at 4:20. Only reason I did not finish first was because I had zero competition all year long. At the end of the meet, zero recognition. Two other guys on the team were given recognition in another sport.

Fast forward three months later. No college offers, no one was interested except one college. It was past the application date to get into the school. The track coach took me to the dean's office. He went inside and had a conversation with him while I stood outside the door. No, he would not make an exception for me. I decided to go to another school and run with that coaches team independently. On the new team I did not fit in, was never a true member of the team and I did not have success so I lost interest after a year.

Every single feeling of my work experience was a direct repeat of everything that happened with this past experience. It has played over and over and over again in my life. STUCK.

What was the key feeling (of many) associated with this? RESENTMENT.

Many people will conceptually believe that they replay life's past over and over again. It is not until they experience freedom from it on this massive level will they ever begin to remotely appreciate it.

I will share a few more of these as I find them. Thank you again Tim for your wonderful creation and to Jeff and the gang for all their outstanding support and life changing contributions.
















 
« Last Edit: May 11, 2018, 10:37:47 PM by Brian »
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Brian

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#2

In my career, I historically had worked as a subcontractor to other companies. They would own the relationship with the client, bill the client and pay me. if there was an major issue at the client site they were supposed to support me with that but never did. They would never be involved. I was on my own. When it was time to get paid there was always some delay,partial payment,  hassle, excuse, runaround.

All of this experience was tied to...

My first job was a paperboy. The papers were delivered to my house by a local family who was the main contact point for the newspaper company in another town. They would bring me the papers and give me the bill. I would be on my own. If there was a customer satisfaction issue I would get them involved but I always had to to handle it on my own. I was responsible to collect all the money every month to pay them a flat bill. I would go door to door on my route, hassle, runaround, avoid, come back on payday, I don't have the money, here's part of the money, come back next week etc.


Not a coincidence. Once this was cleared it all stopped in my present reality.



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Brian

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#3

When I would travel for work I would always be expected to go no frills. There would be little travel budget. Sometimes I would not have a car. I always felt as if though I was stuck when I went to these places. No ability to do anything else while  I was there.


All the feelings went back to:

When I was a kid I was not allowed to stay in the house during vacations. I would always have to go with my dad to work one hour a way on winter and summer break every day. He worked in a school so I would go to the school with him while he worked. While I was there I felt isolated, had to find things to do, no car, he would give me a few dollars sometimes to go for lunch.

I resented this heavily.

No coincidence once it was gone this stopped happening in my life.


If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
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Scott

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Brian thank you so much for these examples and the many other examples that you take the time to post on this forum.

I really appreciate your experiences and your point of view.  Your reviews, insights and results help me to not only understand the possibilities of PSTEC on a deeper level but I use them as a model to learn, change and grow personally.

You have already impacted my life in so many ways.

Thank you for sharing parts of your life. Your humbleness and absence of ego are a shining example to me.

Scott

Brian

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Brian thank you so much for these examples and the many other examples that you take the time to post on this forum.

I really appreciate your experiences and your point of view.  Your reviews, insights and results help me to not only understand the possibilities of PSTEC on a deeper level but I use them as a model to learn, change and grow personally.

You have already impacted my life in so many ways.

Thank you for sharing parts of your life. Your humbleness and absence of ego are a shining example to me.

Scott

Scott you are absolutely welcome. As I'm sure you can understand there are no words to describe these other than it must be experienced. The average person will laugh as you run down rabbit holes. This is where the deep change exists.

Even today I had a strange feeling of something I couldn't let go of. Took a few minutes to CT it. Sure enough it went back to a a fight with a sibling at 13 years old. Again it was resentment.

Life is a loop.


« Last Edit: May 13, 2018, 06:09:17 PM by Brian »
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
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Scott

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Hey Brian,

After re-reading your examples a few times, I was able to use the model and see some significant recurring issues in my life that I am ready to address.

In Example #1 you have many supporting examples that you click tracked resentment for. Did you do each one individually or group them together in your mind or use the wrapper to wrap them together?

I will do each one of mine individually if needed or if there is a less time consuming way to address them effectively, then I will do that.

I know anything is possible and to experiment etc. I'm really interested in how you approached it.

Thanks, Scott

Brian

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Scott I had so much resentment in my life it was my persona. One of the issues there is it can seem stubborn if not impossible to clear, especially if you believe it's not ok or safe to let it go: http://pstecforum.com/pf/miscellaneous-and-other-topics/stubborn-emotions-tips-on-how-to-clear-stuck-feelings-faster/ I had this BIG TIME.

Start with the resentment with parents and if you have any bullying all as far back as you can go. Tim made a good point once that you can have resentment with a person and not even remember it, parents are a good example.


« Last Edit: May 14, 2018, 06:02:45 PM by Brian »
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
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Brian

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#4

Had a situation where I was feeling isolated, left out, unsupported and alienated, outsider, not included in many areas of my life. After years of this, I decided one day I should CT this stuff.


It's important to point out how sometimes these things are happening to us in the present and we just don't stop to think that it is what is going on inside of us that is creating it. If you don't believe in this school of thought it can be looked at from the aspect of we are simply perceiving our reality this way. It's ok to perceive it absent these thoughts and feelings.


Of course it all went back to my childhood. This was how things were growing up with my parents. I was not supported by my parents and also I was not supported when there was conflict within the family. I was also isolated/alienated from the rest of the family, spent a lot of time alone in my room feeling like an outsider to the rest of the family. Within 30 seconds of clicktracking it all came back. I then simply felt these feelings and focused on all the things that happened as far back as I could remember. Problem solved.


No surprise that once I cleared it this completely stopped in my reality within a matter of days. Others were actually apologizing me for their behavior. :)

If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
Book a session: https://goo.gl/2VxCUa
Tools I use: Clicktracks (Basic, EEF, 2015) Accelerators, Positive, Positive Extra, Negative, Belief Blasters, Cascade Release, No More Anxiety, No More Anger, Anger Loop, PTSD Loop, Stop Smoking, Think & Grow Rich

Scott

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Hi Brian,

When I consider resentment there are quite a few examples I can come up with in my life.

In your opinion is using the CT Wrapper an effective and time efficient way to group these situations and then CT them? I don't see much talk about using CT Wrapper.

Thanks, Scott

Brian

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Hi Brian,

When I consider resentment there are quite a few examples I can come up with in my life.

In your opinion is using the CT Wrapper an effective and time efficient way to group these situations and then CT them? I don't see much talk about using CT Wrapper.

Thanks, Scott


Scott you absolutely can. There are a slew of other feelings that come with resentment. Jealousy, envy, betrayal, indignation, prejudiced... etc. One thing that helped me was to go extreme and always start with your parents/lack of parents. Not only your resentment for them but resentment they had to others, often you will pick this up from them and replay it in your life.

If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
Book a session: https://goo.gl/2VxCUa
Tools I use: Clicktracks (Basic, EEF, 2015) Accelerators, Positive, Positive Extra, Negative, Belief Blasters, Cascade Release, No More Anxiety, No More Anger, Anger Loop, PTSD Loop, Stop Smoking, Think & Grow Rich

Scott

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Woe! My parents resentment for others...This is an ah-ha moment for me!

I can understand how listening to, and watching my parents resentment of others has affected me. I thought I was separate from "their stuff", however I can clearly see the influence their resentment for others has had on me.

You nailed it again Brian!

I've also recently discovered I have some very strong resentment for myself. Mostly in the area of not achieving my financial/business goals yet.

Brian

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Scott - You will be amazed at what you pick up as a program that you only saw. e.g. If your father was nervous in social situations and you are also nervous in social situations this is very normal.

Often times we try to CT our feelings but what works REALLY well is to CT your father's behavior in social situations as far back as you can remember holding your feeling(s) of how he acted. Again - we live in the light of reflected action.

My dad spent a lot of time on the couch watching TV. So did I but I was on my computer. I CT him laying on the couch watching TV and the feelings I had being around him when he did that. Hey how about that I suddenly don't do it anymore. Same with chewing nails. My dad was a chronic nail biter. I did it a little bit. I just CT him doing it and how I felt watching him. Well how about that, I now use nail clippers. :)

« Last Edit: May 22, 2018, 02:20:52 PM by Brian »
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
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Scott

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This is such an interesting approach Brian. I think there is a lot of potential in these suggestions. LOL, my dad laid on the couch a lot as well.

Great suggestions, I will definitely add them into my plan.

Brian

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Scott - I'm a believer that most all of it goes back to the parents. I look back on my bullying now and realize I attracted/created/broadcasted (whatever word you want to use) all of it as a result of my dad teasing me. The bullying didn't come into play until maybe I was 7? though we all know dad was teasing as my earliest belief system was forming before I could even fully speak. It can simply be what you saw and the feelings (5 senses aka energy) you had behind it.


I had a behavioral conditioning to tease others myself - it's a form of defense against rejection etc - and had a tough time clearing it. It wasn't until I CT my dad doing the same thing to his friends did it easily collapse. A load of repressed anger came up with it as well.

I was clicktracking on an old girlfriend once and I could smell her Liz Claiborne perfume as I was doing it same for a few other girl's perfumes. Really surprised me again try to explain this to someone... ;)

« Last Edit: May 22, 2018, 02:33:17 PM by Brian »
If you think it, feel it or say it...PSTEC it!
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Paul

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Great stuff, Brian.

I always appreciate your insights and how you have spotted so many patterns in your life. There are no coincidences here.

Sorry to hijack the thread!

So much does go back to early childhood experiences. Most parents do their best, but we are "meaning-makers." As kids, we did not have the life experience to truly make sense of our lives, so were guided by parents, caregivers and peers.

If parents are overly critical, kids will likely form certain beliefs about the world and have a conditioned fear of criticism. If parents only praise when kids are achieving, beliefs like "what makes me good enough is achieving" are formed.

If parents are constantly working, and not paying attention to their kids, kids may likely conclude "I don't matter", "life is a struggle" and "I'm not important."

As adults, we can rationalise these experiences, but it can be very worthwhile to look back to how you would have felt as a child.

Scott, for the issue of not yet achieving your money goals,  you can CT all resentment for yourself. Notice WHAT you resent and CT it.

There is no inherent "truth" here. Movie stars with fame and vast fortunes can hate themselves and life, while people in extreme poverty can and do feel good about themselves and see the wonder in life.

You can also look back at how your parents treated money and the way they subtly (or not!) communicated about money.

Did these type of phrases crop up?

"Money doesn't grow on trees", "You have to work hard for your money", "rich people are greedy", "there is never enough money"

You can put those into the past tense and "blast" them.

Also, you might want to consider what was happening when you were younger. Were your parents ever laid off, or did they ever come home from work seeming frustrated or even downbeat? Subtle communications.

What you hit on about your parents resenting others could be pivotal. If they ever criticised people who had money or who were getting promotions, you can work with that. If ever you want to do something and wonder "what would my parents think/say?", you can CT that.

Let's say you planned to earn a certain amount of money or go for a certain career, and you hear your parents say something like "don't get ideas above your station", CT that.

All the best,

Paul
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